Percolating clarity

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Pain&Hunger Sandwich

The longing. The pain.

Desires. The hunger.

Constant battle in my brain.

Crippling shadows in my veins.

I pray “Dear lord”, give me clarity.

Give me purpose, make this easy.”

Then I remember that I must be a soul of my own work.

Fortune can only do so much, I must make up my own luck.

“It’s not enough. I wish I could get more.”

Foolish, out of touch; I feel the shame seeping through my pores.

But is it only one thing?

Will I know in the morning?

Dawn has not come for so long now.

Maybe I’m missing something.

The pain, the hunger.

I wish I could bleed it out.

But how?

The pain, the hunger. 

Mais qu’est-ce qui m’arrive ?

Il n’y a rien qui subsiste

Je ne sais même plus si j’existe

Il faut que je me ressaisisse

Il faut que je reprenne mon emprise

Sur moi-même, sur ma vie

Reprendre haleine

Revoir mes amis

J’ai beau écouter mes meilleurs avis

Mais il n’y a rien pour tout régler

Il n’y a rien par magie

Je sais que je suis libre

Mais j’ai comme l’idée que je me prive

De ne jamais pouvoir atteindre la rive

Mais je ne sais pas quoi faire

Tout ça me laisse un gout amer

Comme du fer, comme l’enfer

Et c’est là que tout empire

Nov 8


So please pardon these and such curious minds
Peace, safe passage, precious time hither and gone
The day of days, Yawm al-Qiyāmah

The passion, expansion, the order of the random
See the dreamers, see the sleepers
Why’d you wake them?

Nov 5

The other one.

I see him. Rather, I see “it”.

Tall and thin, it stands in the ether; it floats around me, always present but never really there. It has crazy eyes, white, empty eyes with one small dark dot as the pupil. It isn’t a black dot; it isn’t of any specific colour. It is just dark and gloomy and infinitely deep. It is a whole world of shadows and chaos in itself, a chaos from which no order could ever emerge, shadows that no light could ever pierce. It is a world of doubts, anxiety and trouble but not necessarily evil, not always. It is a world of unease, of disease and torture but not necessarily of pain. It is full and incorruptible, plain and mysterious. It stands by and within itself, the obscurity sustaining its own.

The mystery and beauty of its pupils is such that one could even get lost by simply starring into them. No one ever does, though.

It floats and hangs around, without any specific purpose. It is just there but its pupils are elsewhere, busy with other thoughts, fathoming other knowledge. Sometimes, its eyes roll around and its gaze turns the blood of the living cold as spring water in the morning, filling their heart with a sense of clean and relaxed fear, of pure and empty clarity, striking them to the bone with malicious images and luscious, false promises.

Its icy gaze follows me at times and forces me to run in circles. Sometimes, it just floats there, over my shoulder, and its head spins on its neck slowly, in some demonic and grotesque show, dazing me momentarily, repeatedly, forcing me to run and hide, to look for light, to step out of the shade escaping from its eyes.

But lights only grow bright to fade and darkness is perpetually coming.

Night falls.

And, holding my breath, clenching my fists and looking straight into its eyes, I just smile and whisper him that morning is nigh.

It’s staying up late at night

Tired but restless

And I just can’t shut my mind

And I just can’t kill the distress

I’m the chaos dweller

Blind but all-seeing

Vivid pictures, colours, broken dreams and tears

Shattered images, intricate, perfect design covered with fear and dust

It masks it all, veil of dark in the middle of the shadows

And with every dawn and dusk I wish for better tomorrows

I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain’t always gonna be gold.

I’ll be fine once I get it.

It’s autumn. 

The days get shorter and darker and nature seems to retire, disappear, retreating for comfort. 

The leaves are colourful, life dazzling and fast. The twists and surprises come and go, nothing seems like it will last. Just one quick moment, just one great boom. It may all die in the winter with the cold but still it’s not yet soon. No, not yet, there is some more, a bit more life to suck, a bit more pleasure to drain.

And before it gets too cold and the snow falls, there is joy to find in the fog and the rain.

That moment when you’d want to get high and listen to rap beats and write lyrics rather than study.

reblog if you dont have a bra on

I mean… Waht can I say ?!

(Source: )

So true but I think the problem goes beyond simple anti-intellectualism. It affects every sphere of development and work. 
I think we’ve been actually encouraging and promoting a culture or mediocrity and quiet conformity. I think this culture is partly ruining us. Not only saying “you two are worth just as much” but actually saying “you shouldn’t be that good or at least not show it”.
For example, when you think of a douche, of different type of douches, what is the underlying trait ? Let’s see four different situations :
1. A gym-rat showing off his six pack whenever he gets the occasion. Douche.
2. A wealthy person showing off his money by over-tipping evidently and flashing a watch which is worth the price of a house. Douche.
3. A “genius” who doesn’t avoid schooling people on science and facts when they are wrong. Douche.
4. A guy sharing how many girls he slept with or how many he scored in one week. Douche.
What do they all have in common ? Excellence. They all are seeking or all reached some level of excellence in a field they obviously value (whether they should or not isn’t the question) and they are proud of it.
Are they really despicable ? What’s the problem in these situations ? Is it the work they put into what they value or the fact that they share with people that their efforts yielded fruits ?
No. The problem is that someone who’s average or mediocre in that field is going to be jealous or eventually hurt by hearing that person’s success. All the given examples didn’t showcase something particularly abrasive but people would still “take offence” in the situation because it would remind them of their own mediocrity in that X field. 
And we’re supposed to side with the average one and comfort them and tell the world that one has to be quiet, that one has not to be proud of their hard work, that one has to hide their abilities and that trying to get beyond average is wrong ?
Food for thought.

So true but I think the problem goes beyond simple anti-intellectualism. It affects every sphere of development and work. 

I think we’ve been actually encouraging and promoting a culture or mediocrity and quiet conformity. I think this culture is partly ruining us. Not only saying “you two are worth just as much” but actually saying “you shouldn’t be that good or at least not show it”.

For example, when you think of a douche, of different type of douches, what is the underlying trait ? Let’s see four different situations :

1. A gym-rat showing off his six pack whenever he gets the occasion. Douche.

2. A wealthy person showing off his money by over-tipping evidently and flashing a watch which is worth the price of a house. Douche.

3. A “genius” who doesn’t avoid schooling people on science and facts when they are wrong. Douche.

4. A guy sharing how many girls he slept with or how many he scored in one week. Douche.

What do they all have in common ? Excellence. They all are seeking or all reached some level of excellence in a field they obviously value (whether they should or not isn’t the question) and they are proud of it.

Are they really despicable ? What’s the problem in these situations ? Is it the work they put into what they value or the fact that they share with people that their efforts yielded fruits ?

No. The problem is that someone who’s average or mediocre in that field is going to be jealous or eventually hurt by hearing that person’s success. All the given examples didn’t showcase something particularly abrasive but people would still “take offence” in the situation because it would remind them of their own mediocrity in that X field. 

And we’re supposed to side with the average one and comfort them and tell the world that one has to be quiet, that one has not to be proud of their hard work, that one has to hide their abilities and that trying to get beyond average is wrong ?

Food for thought.

Always makes me laugh.

Always makes me laugh.

New ink.
It’s my family crest and the design is based off a drawing from my great uncle.

New ink.

It’s my family crest and the design is based off a drawing from my great uncle.